Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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