evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
