wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
