He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need water and some morals
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
