Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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