new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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