Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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