are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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