Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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