His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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