Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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