we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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