i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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