DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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