Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
4 words: hood of his car
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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