You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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