It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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