I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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