haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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