He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We got so high we made milksteak
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
