This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
