soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
