Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
