If i come over, it means nothing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
