U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I am one with the molecules
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
