The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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