Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
