you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
