Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
