he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
