The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
