Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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