I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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