I just saw a hot homeless man
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
