if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
