WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Mom said you looked used
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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