he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
