If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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