it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
