dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
