meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
