can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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