Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
NoShamevember. You game?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
