I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
