I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
