I wish i was in the wii world.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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