Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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