called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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