dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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