We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
