bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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