Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
