i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
