All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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