You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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