i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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