It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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