The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
vagina is talking i cant
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
