In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
