Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
