Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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