At least make sure they are 18
Why
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
