She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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