He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
