I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Sorry about my life...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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