So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
