quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
